divorce and its financial challenges are an issue almost no woman wants to face. After all, during divorce proceedings, not only is a woman considering the financial future of herself and her family, but she’s also dealing with the emotional aftermath of the dissolution of a marriage. It can be a difficult time for everyone involved, and a messy financial situation will only make things worse.

Unfortunately, no matter how mutual or cut-and-dry the legal proceedings of a divorce are, there are complications when it comes to short-term and long-term finances. The best thing women can do to prepare themselves is to take financial issues one step at a time, working with an advisor they trust to help them start looking ahead to a brighter future.

After divorce: The First Steps

Once everything has been divided up, it is necessary to re-title or transfer all of the "big ticket" items, including property, houses, cars, wills, insurance, credit cards, and bank accounts. It’s important to get these things out of the way first, since you don’t want to be held liable for any delinquent payments or unaccounted spending on behalf of your ex-spouse. The same is true for any issues related to bankruptcy; if there is a chance of either partner filing, it’s important to do it either before the divorce occurs or very soon thereafter. That’s because it is possible for one ex-spouse’s bankruptcy to affect the other’s financial situation, since he or she may be held liable for defaulted loans.

Along these same lines, it’s important to amend existing retirement plans, including IRAs and 401(k) accounts. When possible, these should be a part of the divorce settlement, since they incorporate a very large portion (if not all) of your financial future as far as retirement goes.

After divorce: Looking Ahead

Getting your finances settled after a divorce can take years. Not only are most women adjusting to a new home and new income, but many of them are also figuring out how to balance work and child care, as well. This means that you may not consider yourself ready to start planning a savings and retirement plan until five or ten years have gone by and you are on your feet, so to speak.

This is a mistake. Although you might not have the funds ready to start investing right away, it’s always best to at least meet with a financial advisor who can help you determine your goals and next steps. Whether you want to set a retirement plan into action or find a way to build a savings account that will give you - and your newly emerged family - some freedom from financial worries, it’s always best to start right away.

Although there are rarely very many silver linings to a divorce, it does give many women a chance to start taking proactive control over their future. Sure, it may take a few years before you start to feel settled enough to really tackle stocks, bonds, risk assessments, and portfolio diversification, but divorced women are among those best suited for smart financial decisions - if only because they’re being forced to ask the hard questions and take a good look at what they want out of their lives.

Questions? Email me at wesley@thewandwgroup.com and visit our website at http://www.thewandwgroup.com New Money Talk is a weekly article focusing on retirement, personal finance, and estate planning. Comments and questions are welcome, but because of the volume of email, personal responses are not always possible.

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There is no doubt about the fact that divorce is at an all time high. Most couples who get married, especially for the firs time, fail to stay that way and that is a problem. It seems that couples need more than one go at the marriage thing in order to make it work and when you are getting out of a relationship that was not happy or productive it is important to keep that in mind. If you are one of many men out there who are dealing with a divorce, know that you are not alone.

You have your rights just like your wife does, and although a divorce can be a tough thing to deal with both financially and otherwise it is important to remember that you are not the only one out there who has these things to sort through Here are some tips for men dealing with divorce, so if you know one or happen to be one you can pass them on or make use of them yourself. It doesn’t have to be the end of the world.

Seek Support

You’re a man; everybody knows that! It is okay to show weakness, and it is okay to do your best to find support. It can be wearing on a personal in an emotional way just as it can wear on the other facets of a person and if you have a support system things can go much smoother. If nothing else, internet forums and support groups should be able to provide you with a frame of reference so that you know that even at its nastiest, your divorce could be worse.

Get the Best Counsel

Needless to say, you are going to need legal assistance with your divorce. Even if you happen to be an attorney yourself it is inevitable—you are going to need help. Don’t make the mistake of thinking that you are going to be one of the lucky ones and get your whole world rocked later on when it counts. Don’t end up losing everything that is important to you because you trusted someone at a time when you may want to be wary of everyone.

Try to Remain Amicable

Divorces are different. Some people part happily and others have bitter feuds against one another. By all means, try to remain amicable in your divorce at all costs. The happier she is and the more you are about what your legal entitlements and responsibilities are the better off you will be in the end.

Getting a divorce is never easy, especially for a man. It can wound your pride and your pocket all in one fell swoop, and that is something that men don’t always deal the best with. Take your time, be responsible about your business, and don’t procrastinate. The more drama in your life and the less responsible you are, the less things are bound to turn out in your favor.

In this first case a husband and wife have grown apart. The couple is now talking about a legal divorce. But neither or them wants to hurt the other with a lot of accusations. Would one of them have to pin the blame on the other, or can they just get a divorce because they both want one?

In this case no accusations are needed if both of you agree that the marriage is beyond reconciliation. If one spouse wants to continue the marriage, however, the one wants the divorce may have to prove the other guilty of some wrong doing that is grounds for a legal divorce, such as abandonment or cruelty.
In this next question a couple is asking must a couple live apart before being granted a divorce?

Not necessarily. However, more than 20 states, including Arkansas, Hawaii, and North Carolina, permit couples to obtain a no fault divorce . If they have lived apart under a separation agreement for a specified time. To get

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Question

If my wife and I live apart from each other for seven years, will we be considered divorced?

No. Living apart does not make you divorced, no matter how long you do so . divorce requires a judgment from a court legally termination of the marriage. Without a court decree, there is no divorce.

Jack and Mary remained married for their children’s sake. Now the children are grown – up , Jack and Mary want a divorce. Mary is not self-supporting. . What steps should she take ?

There are many things that Mary should do to protect her interests. The first is to make an appointment with an attorney. The earlier she does so the better prepared she will be when she and jack actually separate.

Before meetings with her attorney. Mary should draw up a list of all the family assets and debts, including business interests she and jack may have . If she is not familiar with these matters , she risks not getting a fair property settlement. She should also know the location of deeds, insurance policies, titles to property and other important documents.

If Mary has been financially dependent on jack she should draw up a budget, estimating all of her monthly living expenses including those expenses, such as car insurance and Christmas presents, that don’t come up every month. It is important that the budget be accurate because the amount of her support will depend upon her needs.

Mary should try to set aside some money before the separation, to be used while the divorce is pending. Mary should establish credit in her own name and since there is no guarantee of support or it may not meet her needs – she should also consider getting a job and go to legal1x.com for more help.

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Collaborative law can offer a speedier alternative to traditional divorce and the family law mediation process. With discussion and problem sharing and solving at the centre of collaborative law, control of a divorce is handed back to a couple, rather than put into the hands of a judge. Collaborative law may be relatively new to the UK, but may become the more traditional manner of divorce in the future.

Within a traditional divorce case, correspondence is exchanged between opposing family solicitors, and court appearances follow, all at high expense to a divorcing couple. Court appearances can end up being months apart, prolonging the process, which can be draining both on finances and emotions. In collaborative law, parties are encouraged to reach an out of court settlement in an amicable and non-aggressive way - with the extra incentive that if a couple fails to agree, they will have to find new legal advisers. This would increase expense for a couple, who may have fallen into a cycle of recrimination and constant grievance airing. Collaborative law therefore aims to make a final and lasting settlement that takes into account the needs of both sides, and especially those of any children affected.

During mediation, a couple will meet with a neutral mediator, with no solicitors present. A mediator tries to help a couple reach a solution, but will not offer legal advice to either party, which is not the case in collaborative law. In a collaborative divorce, solicitors for both parties are present to give specialist advice at every stage of discussion. In mediation, solicitors can become involved at too late a point, but collaborative law provides a more structured approach, with a trained family solicitor regularly contacting his client and opposite number to discuss progress and plan meetings.

A further difference between traditional divorce and collaborative law is that of the help of outside professionals. People such as marriage guidance counsellors and accountants can be involved when discussing a settlement, helping both sides’ emotional and financial needs. Once an agreement is reached, both parties involved will sign the paperwork, and lawyers can then file documents with a court for final approval. In comparison with the often stressful and time consuming process of divorce, collaborative law offers both a speedier resolution, and closure on a troubling chapter of a couples’ lives, and allows them to move on from a marriage.

The whole divorce process is never an easy one. Involving a family law mediator or collaborative law solicitor can help significantly reduce stress and friction from the divorce process.

Bonallack and Bishop (http://www.bishopslaw.co.uk ) are Andover Family Solicitors with considerable experience in advising on Collaborative Law. Tim Bishop is senior partner at the firm, responsible for all major strategic decisions. He has grown the firm by 1000% in the last 12 years and sees himself as a businessman who owns a law firm.

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Copyright (c) 2010 Lucille Uttermohlen

We all know that divorce is hardest on kids. No matter what the reasons for the break-up, kids tend to wish it would all go away, and that their parents would just kiss and make up. No matter how bad their family lives, or unhappy their parents are, kids like familiarity better then change. After all, they are already coping with a lot in their lives, and Mom and Dad’s split is just one more scary event they have to understand and accept.

Just think of what your kids have to face in their daily lives. Teachers are demanding that they learn new subjects and skills every day. The material is not anything they can apply to their real worlds. After all, learning about arithmetic and geography doesn’t help them deal with the friend who won’t play with them, or the bully who is teasing them.

When they get home, there is more school work to be done. The kid may think his time is better spent in front of the TV or computer, but if he doesn’t crack the books, Mom and Dad know he won’t get very far in life. Kids have trouble internalizing the fact that they are preparing for adulthood. Remember, all their experiences so far, are as children, and it is hard for them to understand that they are learning things now that will actually be valuable to them later. After all, later is not a concept kids feel.

If the pressure of school and homework aren’t enough, kids are forced to do other things in their lives that seem useless to them. Getting along with friends or siblings by compromising seems ridiculous to someone whose world view is naturally self centered. Not hitting a smaller child back when the little kid started it just seems unfair. The fact that they are bigger and can cause more damage may seem like a good reason for restraint to an adult, but to a kid, it just seems like Mom or Dad taking sides.

Because kids feel things differently then their parents, it is important that they not be expected to immediately adjust to the news that their family is about to undergo a big change. Try not to introduce too many new factors at once. It is best if both parents can sit down with the kids to explain what is going to happen.

Give them a little time to adjust to the news and ask any questions they may have. Remember, the things you think are important may not be what your kids need to hear in the beginning. If you listen to them, you can pick up valuable information about their thoughts and concerns. In turn, you will better be able to guide them into their new situation.

Lucille Uttermohlen has a bad attitude towards government. Despite that, she has a good personality, and writes brilliantly about the system , and its less savory aspects, as well as family law advice at http://www.couple-or-not.com If you have a question about law, write to Lucille@couple-or-not.com for a quick but thorough answer.

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