DISCLAIMER: The following is NOT legal advice, nor is it a substitute for legal advice. If you are in Family Court you will need legal advice, so please see a lawyer.

Understanding Winning custody of your children when you are a divorced dad requires a new way of looking at what Winning really means. For example, let’s say that you went to family court, spent $50,000.00 and won custody of your kids. You think "Ahhh, I’ve won."

What if Mom drags you back into family court eight months later because she doesn’t like how you’re parenting? You’ve technically got custody of your kids, but what is that custody actually worth? Who is going to make the decision about your kids?

The judge. In effect the judge, on behalf of the government, has custody of your kids. Why is this good news for you? Even though that the majority of custody orders favor moms and designate "sole custody", the important thing to remember is that her custody in itself is an illusion.

This means that the fight for custody is also an illusion.

Say it out loud: "custody is an illusion." Just keep repeating that phrase to yourself until understanding starts to sink in.

Use Mom’s desire to gain custody as a negotiating chip to get time with your child, when the law is on her side in a custody dispute. When she is faced with getting what she wants for little cost versus having to spend a lot of money, she will likely opt for giving you what you want: TIME with your kids.

Make sure to connect time with your kids to how it benefits the kids. Don’t look at it as away to reduce child support. Get time with your kids and get that established. Pay the child support. Once that’s established, you can take a look at child support arrangements. If you fight over money, it becomes the main issue. They’ll claim that the only reason you want more time is so you can spend less on child support.

The best counter to that argument is: "By your logic, the only reason you want your kids so much is so you can use them to get that child support…" When you go back to court, you must litigate over the right issues. Be a peace maker, not a trouble maker…

BE FOCUSED: Your issue is you want time and influence with your child and it is fully possible to get that without having a custody order.

In many places custody only means the right to make:
a) Religious Decisions
b) Medical Decisions
c) Educational Decisions
d) Legal Decisions

For medical, legal and educational decisions, if there is a strong disagreement, the family court judge decides. However, a judge will generally allow both parents to participate in their religion. They will not listen to any objections because, after all, the parents knew or reasonably should have known this might have been a bone of contention when they picked each others as parenting partners.

Most times going back to Family Court is either about child support, alimony, more access time or enforcement of access time. Most divorced dads confuse custody with access or time. Recognize that having custody does not end your problems with parenting time, it only trades one set of difficulties for another.

During my divorce, I wished for a divorce roadmap. That’s why we created a weekly telewebcast, to help men like yourself.

If you’ve lost in Family Court, don’t give up. There is always hope. You’ve likely lost because you didn’t understand that winning requires effectively "waging peace" for your children.

If you base your game plan and strategies upon those of successful fathers, you will improve your chances of success immeasurably. You need help from dads who have done what you are trying to do.

Danny Guspie – Executive Director of Fathers Resources International can help you learn the successful strategies of fathers who have won in Family Court. Join us on our weekly calls at DivorcedDadWeekly.com where we will share with you what works for successful divorced dads.

Article Source: ArticleSpan

Incoming search terms for the article:

• Men Winning Child Custody
• resources for Dadswho want custody of their childrenh

What do you do if you decide to divorce your husband due to his addiction to Internet pornography. He gets liberal visitation and now your children are being exposed to Internet porn but now completely out of your supervision?

This is a very common problem. You discover your spouse has an addiction to porn and extreme fetish porn at that. You make the difficult decision to leave him but now he has unsupervised visitation with the minor children and you fear the children are exposed to the perverted material.

According to one study, early exposure (under fourteen years of age) to pornography is related to greater involvement in deviant sexual practice, particularly rape. Slightly more than one-third of the child molesters and rapists in this study claimed to have at least occasionally been incited to commit an offense by exposure to pornography. Among the child molesters incited, the study reported that 53 percent of them deliberately used the stimuli of pornography as they prepared to offend.

The habitual consumption of pornography can result in a diminished satisfaction with mild forms of pornography and a correspondingly strong desire for more deviant and violent material.

In a study of convicted child molesters, 77 percent of those who molested boys and 87 percent of those who molested girls admitted to the habitual use of pornography in the commission of their crimes. Besides stimulating the perpetrator, pornography facilitates child molestation in several ways. For example, pedophiles use pornographic photos to demonstrate to their victims what they want them to do. They also use them to arouse a child or to lower a child’s inhibitions and communicate to the unsuspecting child that a particular sexual activity is okay: "This person is enjoying it; so will you."

There is a solution. If you can demonstrate to the court conclusively that the parent has an addiction to Internet porn the court can make orders in relation to that threat that will protect your children from that exposure. They could order anything from no visits to supervised visits to orders prohibiting the mere presence of a computer in the home.

It is surprisingly easy to obtain evidence of Internet pornography and interest in extreme sexual fetishes. You can hire a private investigator that specializes in this very specific field of Internet investigation. What they do is take your husbands email address and locate that email on extreme fetish dating services, porn sites and escort service sites. Then your lawyer can subpoena the records of those sites to determine the level of the activity your husband is involved with on those perverted sites. The times could easily overlap with court ordered times of visitation. Dramatically demonstrating he is unfit to care for the children.

If you hire a professional to investigative online activity be sure that they know what they are doing. It’s a relatively new field so do a search online using Google to make sure the PI is considered an expert at this type of investigation.

Ed Opperman , president of Opperman Investigations Inc is an expert in Internet Infidelity Investigations and Computer and Cell Phone Forensics. If you need help with an infidelity investigation visit www.emailrevealer.com

Article Source: ArticleSpan

Incoming search terms for the article:

• subpoena internet records
• Divorce court internet activity
• internet records on use of porn sites
• porn addiction divorce
• divorce child molestor
• divorce and internet porn and evidence
• sex addiction and child custody
• Sexual addiction child custody
• subpoena computer records with no grounds for adult divorce
• subpoena internet activity

It’s only in articles about divorce that a divorce goes smoothly if you’ll just follow the tips they write about, eh? I have gone through a divorce. It’s not easy. You have gone through a divorce. It’s not easy.

When I read some of the questions out of the divorce Forums, I am continuously amazed at some of the incidents that come up, displaying for all the world to see the lack of maturity on the part of the divorcing parties. In some instances, one or both parties use dirty tactics to punish the other.

I knew of one divorcee who could not get her rich and powerful husband to finalize their divorce. He was trying to force her out of the house because of the possession clause in their state. If she got fed up and left, he owned the house. He paid off judges and attorneys to ignore her requests to finalize the divorce. She tried to find attorneys with great big fangs to go after him, and was unsuccessful. Eight years after the proceedings had begun, she got fed up and figured out a way to make it final. She went to her therapist (whom she knew had to report this to the police) and said that she had a gun and was going to shoot the bastard. The therapist, of course, reported it to the police. Magically, her divorce was finalized the following week.

I am not suggesting you use this tactic. In fact, I strongly suggest that you do not use it. I told you the story simply to illustrate the dirty tactics I’ve seen happen in divorce court. What I am suggesting is that you do everything in your power to create a collaborative divorce for the sake of your children.

divorce is a time when reason seems to fly the coup. You’d like to be reasonable but the spats between you and your ex are like an adrenaline rush and you can’t seem to stop those dangerous emotions from being flung into one another’s faces. If this is what is happening for you, I’d suggest that you let your attorney speak to his attorney so that the emotions can be anesthetized and reason returned to the throne.

Research on the internet so that you understand your rights and the rights of your children. That knowledge, plus the expertise of your attorney, should help to make a collaborative divorce happen and thus, not be quite so disturbing for the children involved. If your discussions with your ex become volatile, please don’t do them in front of your children. Go outside the house when your mom is watching the kids and have the discussion out of earshot.

Have collaboration and harmony as your goal for the sake of your children and you’ll experience a lot more of it than if you don’t set this goal. Your children deserve to be as undisturbed emotionally as you are able to craft for them. They’ll appreciate it when they are more mature. It’s just not necessary to revert to dirty tactics when you’re divorced.

In his book “Getting Over It: Wisdom for divorced Parents,” Len Stauffenger shares his simple wisdom gleaned from his divorce with his daughters and with you. Len is a Success Coach and an Attorney. You can purchase Len’s book and it’s accompanying workbook at divorcedparents.com” target=”_blank”>http://www.wisdomfordivorcedparents.com

Article Source: ArticleSpan

It can be hard for a newly divorced parent to navigate through all the information about child visitation and custody. Understandably, parents want to learn all they can about visitation laws, schedules, forms, court, etc. so they can come up with the best parenting plan for their situation. In order to bring some clarity to the subject, we’ve gathered together important information about child visitation. Every divorced or divorcing parent needs to know this stuff.

Child visitation is the same thing as child custody. One of the first things you have to do is file for child visitation or custody. There are many forms and papers to fill out and you can get them all at the county courthouse. This is the same court as where you file for divorce. In most states you can get these forms and papers online as well. If you ever have any questions about the forms you can ask the people at the courthouse.

After you’ve started the paperwork process, you’ll begin to create your child custody agreement. The child custody agreement is also called your parenting plan and your visitation agreement. Included in this plan is the type of custody that you and the child’s other parent have decided on. There is joint custody, which is also called shared parenting or coparenting, where the parents share equal time with the child. Many courts assign parents to have joint custody because they feel like it is in the best interest of the child to have a relationship with both parents. In sole custody, one parent spends the majority of time with the child and the other parent has visitation rights.

The type of custody you have with your former spouse will create the basis for you custody and visitation schedule. This is the calendar that outlines when the child is with what parent. It generally works out the best if parents can agree on the schedule. If parents agree, they can go to court and have their agreement accepted with no hassle. If parents don’t agree, they both present what they’d like to the court and the court makes the final decision about visitation.

Some courts require that parents attend mediation before going to court. Mediation is when both parents sit down with a neutral third person and discuss their parenting plan. The goal is to come to an agreement to present to the court. This usually works quite well for parents who are having trouble getting along.

Once the court has accepted your parenting plan, it becomes a custody order. This means that the agreement is legally binding. Parents must adhere to the agreement or there are consequences with the law. If you ever want to make changes to your parenting plan, you have to fill out a petition to change the court order form. Once your plan becomes a court order, you can focus on implementing your agreement and parenting your child.

Learn more about custodyxchange.com/custody/child-visitation.php” target=”_blank”>child visitation and find out more custodyxchange.com/custody/child-custody-information.php” target=”_blank”>child custody information.

Article Source: ArticleSpan

Anyone who has ever gone through a divorce will tell you that winning your child custody battle is one of the most difficult, time consuming and expensive parts of the process. However, it is also the most important since the physical and emotional well-being of your children depend on the outcome of the child custody schedule and child support amounts. Each parent deserves to be a part of their children’s lives and children need both parents, so it is vital that the child custody schedule is fair to all parties and takes these factors into consideration.

A lot of the money that is spent on expensive divorce cases is paid for having the lawyers draw up the child custody schedule. This can be a very time consuming process and since lawyers are paid by the hour, it can get really expensive. Fortunately, there is a software program that can help the parents draw up possible child custody schedules to submit to the court to save time and money. Many attorneys also find this tool helpful in handling the facts and figures that need to go into the child custody schedule so they can focus on other vital tasks and getting to court on time.

There are many factors that go into the determination that the judge will ultimately make about who will win child custody and how parenting time and child support will be handled. Most importantly, the courts try to determine what is in the best interest of the child. If neither parent is incompetent, the courts will want to see them each taking part in raising and nurturing the children and in giving them emotional and physical support.

One consideration in child support payment amounts is how much time is spent at the non-custodial parent’s home. Since the non-custodial parent contributes food, electricity, gas and so forth when the child is with them, spending more time together will not only strengthen the parent-child bond, it will also help to lower the child support payments.

Using a good child custody schedule software program is a great way to save time and money while helping to create a schedule that everyone can live with. Your relationship with your children is vital to their ability to grow up successfully and happily and will also give you a great deal of satisfaction and joy so be sure to protect your rights and the rights of your children.

Ray Subs highly recommends the child custody software program custody X Change because he has seen the benefits first hand. Visit custodycenteronline.com/” target=”_blank”>custody X Change to learn more.

Article Source: ArticleSpan