The divorce book, “No BS Divorce Strategies For Men” was initially published in May of 2005 and at that time was the first book on-line devoted to getting men get through a divorce as quickly and cheaply as possible. The guide has been updated four times, the last in March of 2008.

It’s written by Matt O’Connell who says on his web page he, “had one of the most complex divorces in his states history.”

Being an analyst by trade, O’Connell says he took a logical and systematic approach to understanding how the divorce process really works and put his analysis and recommendations down in a 136 page guide.

The book presents a unique look at how the divorce process works and how men can “win their divorce” without spending a small fortune, have it drag on for months, and end it with dignity and a positive outlook.

The level of information, facts about the various people involved in divorce situations, and techniques and strategies contained inside is surprising for an online book.

The fact O’Connell’s book about divorce has been updated four times and is easily found on Google after 3 years, given the number of “here today, gone tomorrow” men’s divorce ebooks of the last few years, should provide comfort that the information he provides must work.

What’s Covered?

There’s an impressive depth of information and candor in the 136 pages of No BS Divorce Strategies For Men.

The book starts with a section on his views on women and how the information he presents can help you get through a divorce quickly, less expensively, and with more dignity and knowledge than the vast majority of men facing divorce.

Following the introductory sections, O’Connell goes into what he calls the “brutal truth” about divorce and what lies ahead of you if you’re not prepared.

One thing making this one different than other books on divorce was that every section ended with a “Here’s what you want to do” closing paragraph.. In these paragraphs O’Connell gives you specific action(s) you can take to accomplish the divorce goals he spells out in the introduction.

In the section on Getting a lawyer, O’Connell makes a strong case for not being taken in by the firm’s “Rain Maker.” His suggestion on the type of lawyer you want is radical, but his analysis of why to go with that type makes perfect sense and almost guarantees you’ll spend a lot less money.

The Child Custody section is 35 pages and covers the topic with surprising depth and clarity. One of the best parts of this section is his analysis of the Custody Evaluation process, the people you’ll deal with, and how to get the best outcome possible.

Other selected topics in this section are; the hidden costs of a custody battle, joint custody, and advantages of the non-custodial parrent. These are areas covered in most books on divorce.

Weapons Available to Women section gives you a solid grounding in the most common “dirty tricks” women can pull when they’ve initiated the divorce. The “hot tip” he suggests if you get hit with an Order For Protection is so obvious, I’ll bet most men never think of it.

In the Money Matters of Divorce section he goes through Alimony and Child Support and gives excellent tips and strategies.. His example illistrates how you can determine how much you may or may not need to payout and what you can do to reduce both.

The section How Lawyers Profit from your divorce is a great example of why you need to manage your lawyer - and throughout this guide O’Connell shows you with strategies, tips, and examples exactly how to mange them.

Child support-joint or split custody is a solid section, but the one that’s probably worth the price of this guide alone is the section called, Divorce, Taxes, and the IRS.

This section is where O’Connell’s background as an analyst really shows, because there’s more information in this section than many money management books or other books about divorce.

He illustrates many of the parts of this section which will help any man going through a divorce think through their situatuion and those tax situaitons that apply.

I’d bet very few men, given the emotional roller coaster their on during a divorce even think of the things in this section, which is what makes it so valuiable. An IRS example he uses from his life is amazing in what women can get away with if you’re not paying attention.

Reviews

“.really appreciate what your doing. I can honestly say your guide worked for me the very next day. . . .”

“. . . purchased your divorce strategies for men, very helpful.”. . .

“. . . downloaded your book last night around 3:00 am. never in my life have I gotten so much information in such a small amount of time. . . ”

“. . . your guide is great, and I’m going to recommend it to at least two acquaintances. . . .”

“. . . thanks. Your guide of advice paid for itself in one day, in one meeting. . . ”

“. . . no one has ever done as much for me as you did by writing the divorcing man’s guidebook to self preservation. . . ”

“. . . best 50 bucks that I’ve spent in 20 years.. . . .”

“. . . I’m so impressed with your immediate responses to my questions. . . ”

“. . . would like to thank you for your guide helped me a great deal even if I got it somewhat late in my procedings. . . ”

“. . . Thank you again for your help and the service you provide for the men who are just trying to protect their children. . . ”

“. . . So many points hit home for what my friend was going through. Especially the parts about the letter wars.. . . ”

Where You Can Find “No BS Divorce Strategies For Men”

This divorce book for men is available for $49.95 as a downloadable ebook.

To purchase the ebook, click the link, “No BS Divorce Strategies For Men.”

divorce can be pretty devastating for both parties involved but most of all for the children who are caught in the middle. Most of the time they do not understand why their mother and father can no longer co exist or be happy as they once were.

Minimize the Effect

Try and minimize as much as possible the effects of the separation by making co parenting plans, which are easy to follow for the children. It is important that the children realize that they are not at fault or the reason for the divorce; as many kids often live under that impression for the longest time.

Co parenting plans should include quality time with both parents so that the kids get to know you both and not miss out knowing one of the parents. However bad the marriage may have been, being a parent sometimes makes all the difference when you want to be part of your child’s life. Refusing that bond or making it difficult is wrong not towards your spouse but your children who are being deprived of the love of a parent by no fault of their own.

If possible, be as civil and pleasant around your ex as possible, even try and have some outings together as part of the co parenting plans so that the children feel that both parents are good people. To a child it is important to know that one parent respects the other, it makes them feel that they belong. If it is not possible to be polite with one another try not to speak at all rather than blur out an insult in front of the children, which may mark him or her forever. Remember children see parents as role models and often want to grow up and be like just like them.

More Helpful Tips

Try as much as possible not to speak badly about your ex in front of the children, because by respecting your ex, you give your children self respect and esteem. Co-parenting is very hard especially if you had a bad divorce (are there any other kind?). But for the sake of your children you must make the best possible arrangements with your ex.

Co-parenting is all about the children’s needs not yours and as long as you keep that in mind you will be able to make the right choices along the way. A divorce is bad enough by itself, there is no need to prolong it and make it harder on everyone any longer than you should.

Eddie Lamb publishes an abundance of information on a range of topical subjects. This article Co parenting After divorce, is just one of a host of useful articles about Parenting listed on our site map at Parenting Rewards.

Article Source: ArticleSpan

Dissolving a marriage is seldom a cut and dried and easy process, where both parties are in complete agreement on all terms and everything goes cleanly and smoothly during all phases of proceedings. Things can especially get complicated when minor children are involved, since emotions tend to run high and parents must make a concerted effort to do what’s in the best interest of their little ones. It is imperative that parents consult a good family law attorney and gain an understanding of the basics about child custody: here’s more about it.

The differences between joint, shared and sole custody

Here are the three definitions in a nutshell:

–With joint custody, the child usually lives with one parent only, but the non-custodial parent is kept in the loop and involved in all of the important decision-making with regards to the child’s education, well-being, etc.

– Shared custody is a type of joint custody where the child will live with each parent part of the time.

– With sole custody, the child lives with one parent who has the authority to make all of the important decisions. However, the non-custodial parent may still enjoy visitation rights in many cases.

Joint custody is widely regarded as being the best possible situation for a child when it is carried off properly by both parents. The child has the stability that comes with living in a single home and maintaining a single daily routine; also, resentment by the non-custodial parent is minimized because he or she is still intimately involved in decision-making. Ideally, the custodial parent should make every effort to remain geographically close to the other parent, especially if that parent and the child enjoy a close relationship. In the best case scenarios, non-custodial parents are welcomed and invited to birthday parties, school plays, parent/teacher conferences, etc.

The jury is out on whether shared custody is really the healthiest option for a child or not. In fact, many experts think this is the worst possible living situation from the child’s point of view. It is difficult to work out logistically, and a child may feel torn between one home and another; so much so, in fact, that a child may not feel as if he has a real home at all. Control issues between parents are bound to rear their ugly heads as are competition and conflict. A child may be confused by two different sets of home rules or may manipulate their parents one against the other.

The best outcome is that parents are mature enough to work out a system that is agreed upon by both parties and that will be the least disruptive to a child’s life. They should work with a psychologist and with family law attorneys to draw up a plan that everyone will be happy with and that will ultimately be of the most benefit to the child.

Oldham Legal (http://www.oldhamlegal.com/) is a Certified Public Accountant also a member of California State Bar Association, Orange County Bar Association, Orange County Women’s Lawyers Association and American Bar Association. Art Gib is a freelance writer.

Article Source: ArticleSpan

Have you ever heard anybody who said marriage is just a walk in park? Then they must be either a liar or just day dreaming. No one will be that tactless to say that marriage is not difficult. I am not scaring you or anything to back out from this commitment, but simply giving you the facts that you need to know and be ready for.

You see, marriage have a set of sunshine and rain, sometimes hurricanes and storms. But every relationship you will be in will have these sets as well, but not so much with the hurricanes and storms.
And more than ever, being overwhelmed by these saddening parts in their marriages, couples opt the easy way out, divorce.

Here are some statistics you should look at. There were couples that were surveyed, and they were the ones contemplating divorce and have decided to not go through with it, and an astounding 85% claimed that they were happier married in just five years time after the incident.

There are mainly two elements why this happened, foremost one the list having the first opt of divorce went out of the way, dealing with the issues and problems being experienced is the only way to fix things. And the other element is that once divorce is well thought-out, the dynamic of the relationship is altered. This is a more restrained, though far more devastating outcome of considering divorce.

The dynamic of this is straightforward. When an essential divergence builds up in a marriage - as it will in more or less all relationships - those who on no account consider divorce are enforced to deal with the incongruity. Those who do deliberate divorce conserve an "out" that can be utilized devoid of ever dealing with the issue.

As the tribulations in the marriage accumulate, or the deep-seated issues become more troublesome, the easy out of divorce can become more and more tempting. Get rid of divorce as an alternative and make an effort to go into relationship counseling, therapy of some kind, or simply talk about your troubles in a grown-up and wide open way. It seems one-dimensional, but statistically it also looks like to work.

Those who forget divorce as a feasible end to a committed marriage will also be more aggravated to work on that marriage, and work throughout the tribulations that may possibly, lacking the communication and a comprehension, put an end to something that was meant to be a life span of commitment and connection.

Save Your Marriage Watch a 9 minute video that shows you what you should do and exactly what mistakes you should avoid when trying to save your marriage. Save Your Marriage

Article Source: ArticleSpan

There once was a time where the court system commonly looked to the mother as the rightful guardian of her children and it was rare for a mother to not gain custody of her child when going through a divorce. Not any more.

Today the court bases their decision on who gains custody on what they believe is in the best interest of the child. Rarely is it the mother who always has the biggest say in deciding what’s best. During divorce, well informed ex-husbands have learned to manipulate the system in order to make them appear more stable candidates for gaining custody and raising their child.

Fathers have hired expert divorce attorneys who convince the court that the mother is incapable of providing monetary support, that she neglects her children, that she works too much and even that she is unstable to look after her offspring. Many mothers are so shocked by the accusations being levelled at them by someone they used to love. They do not realize how important it is to understand in advance how the system works and fight back.

When mothers allow the husband to take control and paint them negatively in court they also help the father to turn the child against the mother, significantly reducing the chances of gaining custody.

Most mothers know that in divorce the child is looking for someone to blame and the mother is commonly accused of being the reason the relationship did not work out. The father can and will use the child’s feelings to assure the child that they should side with them in the divorce. The child begins to act out, misbehave in school, lash out at the mother while only showing respect for the father and what he has to say. Such behavior may make the court think the father is truly the best option for providing a stable home environment for the child.

Often compacting the case for women who are unsuccessful at gaining custody during the first round is trying to win custody by going back to court again when a few months or a year has gone by. Mistakenly believing that by letting some time pass the child and the father will be more reasonable. Wrong.

By giving up the original battle for custody, mothers will cement in the child’s mind that the father is the parent who loves him or her the most. Furthermore, the father typically moves on and begins dating again or gets remarried. This new woman often tries to get between mother and child, even going so far as to get the child to start calling her mother. Courts may look at this established relationship and mistakenly believe that this two parent home is more beneficial for the child’s security.

By gaining custody you will be sure that your child is growing up in a loving and supportive home. In today’s age of the internet, with access to so much helpful information at your fingertips, there is no excuse. There are now detailed checklists and reports available from respected specialists which are full of practical, tried and tested suggestions specifically aimed at making sure you gain the custody or visitation plan you want after a divorce.

Instead of feeling guilty about the relationship breaking up, get proactive from the start. Tell your child how much you love them and make sure you do not allow the father or anyone else to use the child as a pawn. If there are concerns that the father is unstable, abusive, cheating or engaging in any risky or dangerous behaviors that could put your child in danger, be sure to bring this to the judge’s attention.

If you really want to be successful in gaining custody of your child, instead of leaving it to chance, or basing it on who has the most expensive lawyer, prepare yourself better than your ex.

Don’t let a lack of knowledge about how the judge decides, or how to best present your case, get in the way of what you truly deserve. Know your rights, work the system, educate yourself now.

If you would like to discover more about gaining custody of your child, with answers to all your questions, and proven strategies that will strengthen your case, click on the link here now: custody.com” target=”_blank”>http://www.gainingcustody.com

Article Source: ArticleSpan