A divorce is stressful enough, but when child custody is involved it can get ugly really quick. Unfortunately, there are times when the underlying reason for child custody isn’t about the children at all. It’s just one more way to get back at their Ex for all the “horrible things” that they have done.
This is the worst situation because the only one who ends up getting hurt is the children. That’s why I felt compelled to write this article. My wife and I have been have been in a “heated” battle for her daughter for over a year now. Her ex-husband is a manipulative “know it all” who is purposely limiting my wife’s contact with her daughter.
My wife lost custody several years ago when she had to leave the state they were living in because of the constant harassment and threats being made by her Ex. At the time, the judge could not make a decision on custody and my wife was not allowed to take her daughter out of the state. It was not long after that her Ex’s high price attorney was able to get the judge to grant him full custody simply because my wife now lived out-of-state. Needless to say, my wife was devastated. She didn’t think it could happen just like that with no consideration given to her situation.
So in an instant, she went from having 50:50 custody to seeing her daughter only 6 weeks out of the year.
A couple of years later, I came into the picture and was able to convince my wife that she needs to stop being afraid of her Ex and it was time to fight for her right to be a mother to her daughter. That was easier said than done. By that time, her Ex had used his influence over his daughter to get her to blame my wife for everything that had happened.
Soon the phone calls got shorter and shorter, and her daughter started saying awful things to my wife things that just tore her up inside. This 5-year girl was “yelling” at her mother for breaking up the family, for causing all her daddy’s “money problems”, and for leaving her behind to be with her “new husband”.
None of which it true, but try explaining that to a 5-year old girl over the telephone with her Daddy sitting beside her and listening to the entire conversation. My wife was an utter mess, and even started blaming herself for what was going on.
We finally decided enough was enough, but we had no idea what to do next. I research everything. I’m all over the internet look for tip and strategies, anything that can give us an idea on how to deal with a child custody issue. And wouldn’t you know it; all I get are law firms that tell you that all you have to do is get the right lawyer. So that is what we did.
We gathered all the money that we could, our entire savings and then some, and then hired a lawyer. A lawyer who called our situation an “atrocity”, and that he would do everything in his power to put a stop to it. And so it began, the child custody battle was in full swing. But after the first motion was sent out by our lawyer, we heard nothing. Days, weeks went by and no response, and when we tried to get in touch with our lawyer we had to set up an appointment where we would get charged $250 an hour to talk to him over the phone. A year goes by and nothing happens, except for the judge telling my wife’s Ex to stop turning her daughter against her. And did I mention, we had a nice $16,000 lawyer bill.
This child custody battle was causing us all kinds of pain (emotionally, mentally, and monetarily), but we vowed not to quit. In the mean time, her daughter was angry at us once again because we were trying to “put her Daddy in jail” and “He would die of a broken heart if she was ever to go and live with mommy”. It was gut-wrenching to the both of us. And then something happened that gave us some hope.
Did the lawyer call with some good new? No! Did the judge finally make a decision in our favor? No! I came upon a website talking about two experts (Doctors of Psychology) in dealing with child custody issues. With over 35 years of experience between them, and numerous expert testimonies, they looked they had something that they could teach us. And wouldn’t you believe their guide on strategies in dealing with child custody only cost $89. I was skeptical at first, wondering what they could know that our lawyer doesn’t. But what is $89 compared to $16,000, so I took a look.
Right from the beginning, I noticed things that our lawyer never even mentioned to us. I even brought up some points from the book to our lawyer (at $250 an hour), and he acted like he had never heard of that before. These weren’t over the top legal tactics. These were simple things that none of us had ever though of. We’re still in the midst of the custody battle, but things our leaning our way for the first time ever.
All I can say is that the guide has helped me understand a lot more about child custody strategies, and I had only wished that I had found before all of this started. If you our in similar situation yourself, or about to fight for custody, I urge you to get this guide. It’s a small price to pay in the long run, and it even shows you ways to make your lawyer work harder for you.
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